Sunday, April 20, 2008

Prediction Brand Shoes

Yo Yo One Shot

on a park bench he sits off a guy named Frank. Is mulling over something important: its expiration date.
- Lord forgive me, - says Frank to a man who is coming to take her son - how does it feel to be a father?
The guy looks at him strangely.
- How many times have I told you not to talk to strangers?! - His father, an abusive type, scolded her child in a way his, while he denies ever having seen the poor Frank before and swears that he had not even noticed it was there.
Finally, taking the little boy by the arm, he walks toward the parking lot looks and throwing darts banner dell'incolpevole Frank, and leaving behind a trail of expletives aimed at the mother, guilty of having abandoned his son, at least in its say.
Frank took no notice. Was going through the worst time imaginable. The life's slipping away and he was only twenty.
Now he found himself there with a Yo Yo in hand, forgotten by the child who had been forgotten by the time his mother.
One thought among many, I was distressed. Will never be his father. The
his life will end very soon and he knew only that morning.
But in the end it took to become a father? It was enough to fall in love with a girl, get her pregnant, and tell her that he was leaving for a voyage without return, but before leaving, he wanted to leave behind a souvenir, just to show to posterity that had been there.
Good idea. But too long to apply. The clock is ticking. And the deadline is approaching.
had to develop another solution. After all, what he needed to procreate? Love? It was not necessary. The weather? Yes, but not for more than a fuck. And the third thing, which is essential, to impregnate a woman.
- Excuse me has seen my son? Come on up, the Yo Yo that is holding her, so do not be dumb.
Good. The woman had arrived. Timely, as if it were a gift to fulfill his wish.
- lady Come, sit down.
- I have no time. At this time my husband will be in the car waiting, and also a lot of pissed off. Where is my son kicked out? He was here until five minutes ago!
Frank thinks fast. It makes a strange grin. Finally, change the tone of voice.
- If you sit here, ma'am, do not you will never see again.
The mother, with cheeks the color of the sun at dusk, began to become clear as the morning, he had lived almost all night in an instant.
He sat down. Tame.
- See lady ...
Making extensive use of the imagination, Frank began a speech where he talked about business, money, international organizations, ending the monologue recounting some strange guys who frequented the park, always in search of freshly bloomed flowers.
- But with money you can always fix everything, - Frank concluded.
The mother, in a faint voice, said he had only adjustable rate mortgages .. and children to feed.
- what you would be willing to do for his son? A look
eloquent, was the response that included every possibility.
And so it was that Frank, brandishing the phone like the thread that kept alive his son, came accompanied by the lady in the bathroom of the park, where you do everything possible to deserve the life of his son.
Frank did not know if this would be enough to leave a descendant, but was satisfied the same, and then stood to the covenant. He went with the lady at the parking lot, where more than half an hour looking for the father and son reckless mother who had left the baby for five minutes alone in the park.
The mother rushed to his son, hugging him. The father rushed to the mother, but not exactly for the same reason.
Frank, no hurry, enjoying the scene apart and at least for a moment forgot his date, keeping the mind busy thinking about how sometimes, when life is dying out, another can born in a urinal ...

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Heart Stroke Lottery Winners 2009



A baby Jack standing there alone at the table. Her mother has abandoned recently. It 'been completely dried. Jack Daniel's label had written. For this the children bear his name.
one man as his last drink, he sat at the bar, waiting for someone.
Any one was fine.
"Hi, my name is Jack, like my whiskey." Jack said the first client who is stationed at the counter next to him.
"I have just been left by the girl."
The customer asked him if he drank to forget ... but Jack said he was celebrating. And attacked the disc with the story.

When Jack wanted to be left by a girlfriend who was standing too close now, had a commanding technique.
once.
love for him was basically practice terribly monotonous and repetitive, bordering on the ridiculous.
"Just think of two dogs in the street ..." Jack said, "usually make you smile a bit 'all while they love. I wonder if we humans in their eyes we are so different ... "
And at that point, Jack liked to explain his theory of evolution.
"If once to 4 feet as they walked, and then we went to two, there must be an improvement from an amateur point of view." And with that, Jack wanted to ... "fuck".
His girlfriend heard him turn always a bit 'lost. At least not until you passed a practical example. At that point, everything was much clearer.
no need for repetition.
The last stage of human evolution coincided, according to Jack, in achieving the ability to initiate and conclude the act of love in one movement.
"One shot," he said. "Like a nice glass of whiskey."
"Only women sip. The real men if they do it all at once. "
This analogy between the whiskey and women, for Jack was an inseparable link.

"Hey Jack, I always liked the real men," said the customer sitting at the bar with him. It was a woman customer. It was sorbed this original story told by a guy a po'speciale.
"So Jack," she said, flashing a cigarette held between two languid red lips, "this is your lucky night. If you do not like drinking too much, as you say, and you're a real man ... I know that I have nothing against that. In fact, I can also do the thirty percent discount ... "

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Sample Medical Malpractice Complaint

Sushi of April

April First. My birthday. That dazed to my wife will be forgotten once again. What a woman. E 'already so that you do not find the back in bed with another. The rest would not be the first time ...
If I found her in bed with a woman, I'd be less surprised. This will be done to tease me. Whore. If I think about it ... but why a black guy?
As one old friend of mine postman, it is best to ring the bell twice before entering, you save a surprise in two.
It 's been a long time since that time, but the question of finding someone never lets you down, it's like an obsession.
Din Don. Din Don.
Nothing. Yet the light is on.
Here. Here we go again.
Better to play a couple more shots as suggested by the postman ...
- Excuse me, there is none? Were you not go out the window ... we are on the tenth floor!
Silence.
A strange smell of fresh fish I receive in the nostrils.
The kitchen door is hard to open. And 'as if there was something behind it.
Holy Christ!
There is fresh fish on the floor, everywhere.
The glass table is completely smashed. .. But why all this fish? Will not it ... A strange thing sticking out from under that mess ... but ... it is a foot!?
makes me sick. I do not know if it's the smell of fish or what I'm about to find out.
Attached to the foot on the ground, I see the body of my wife. Completely naked.
My attention is that it is totally covered with pieces of fish, and sprinkled with a kind of jelly. Never seen such a thing.
Needless to say, at first I thought of an April Fool's joke. And 'the unpleasant fate of those born on this day. Half of the birthday gifts I received in my life was April Fool's joke. And almost all of my wife.
But this time is different. There is also the clotted blood, on the ground. She has pieces of glass planted here and there and the cuts, perhaps made from glass table shattered ... or maybe not. I do not know what to think. I do not know if it is alive or dead. I'm afraid to check. And if she died? Suddenly I remember thought that there could be someone else in the house. Hidden. But who could have done such a thing and then stay here?
My heart beats wildly. I can not think.
The door was locked from the inside, however, as always. And there is no escape from the windows on the tenth floor.
I take a knife from the cupboard. My first wish is to find out where you can be hidden.
But because there is fresh fish everywhere?! It seems ... actually, it's sushi.
On the balcony there is none. Now to the cabinets.
must be a fucking Japanese this time. Moreover after the Negro, it is natural that he also wanted to try the yellow one bad ... It must be so. But maybe something went wrong in the right direction. Maybe it's a maniac!
In room no smell of incense.
Candles. Everywhere. There has never been candles in my house. And if it was a satanic ritual? We do not believe in nonsense now. I have to calm down.
Meanwhile I am kidnapped by the thought of how you spend your days my wife in my absence, I see that a cabinet is a bit 'open.
do not know what will I do if I find them inside. I want to give him a chance.
- Next gook, if not get out of there immediately, I do a nice plate of sushi with your balls!
No response.
I take a little 'courage. I open. Still
candles. So many candles.
I do not understand anything.
At home there is no other. I've looked everywhere.
So what the hell happened?
In the kitchen the smell of blood has now surpassed that of the fish. It is the blood of my wife. There's always more to the ground. It 's impossible to approach her being run over. The glass must have cut a vein.
try to lift her head to see if it is alive. Suddenly my eye fell on a book sticking out from under a layer of sushi on the floor.
"A thousand ways to surprise your husband and rekindle the desire." My God

There is a bookmark on a page.
"Sushi party for him. At the bottom of the page is a color photograph depicting a nude woman lying on a table spread and completely covered with sushi.
"Perfect for birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions."
stuff you would not believe. I knew I married a very nice woman, and just as stupid, but I did not go that far.
The glass table must have buckled under its weight, when one is lying on it. And now he stands up there cadaverous white, with two wooden sticks stuck in their hair styled in the Japanese.
Suddenly a tremor shakes. He opens his eyes. I see.
A smile pursed her cheeks. It seems not to notice the conditions under which it is. With a wire voice whispers to me:
- Good ..

birthday ... dear ... I remember that with tears in his eyes and choking voice, replied:
"But in many ways to surprise and turn on the desire, why did you choose the Sushi, the smell of fresh fish I is sick? "
She looked at me and with his last breath, he said
" The candles ... he .... " Fine.

remember to have read and reread that book attracted by curiosity to know what they were those damn candles, or what I would tell my wife before leaving.
And who was he?
No trace, no idea. No one believes me. Just
so.
The thing that haunts me is that when the story around, everyone thinks ... it's an April Fool ...